


Being Crowley's Mom

by Katrina_Viv



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: AU, Angsty Crowley, Gen, Sassy Crowley, Self-Insert, Teenage Crowley, emo Crowley, momfic, parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-25
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2020-05-19 07:26:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19352260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katrina_Viv/pseuds/Katrina_Viv
Summary: A Good Omens AU in which I am, somehow, Crowley's mom. I got inspired to write down the conversations that might happen in that situation.I call this new genre "momfic." :)





	1. Chapter 1

Me: "Crowley, you need to stop getting drunk with your angel friend!" 

Crowley _(annoyed)_ : "Suuuurrre, mom"

...

Me: "Crowley, I heard you were driving very dangerously in town today! Don't get yourself killed!" 

Crowley _(annoyed)_ : "It's _'inconveniently discorporated'_ , mom"

...

Me: "Crowley, I know you were trying to save your friend, but do you realize how dangerous it is to walk into a burning building and then drive a flaming car?" 

Crowley: "I'm a demon, mom. I can handle things like that."

...

Me: "Crowley, what have you done? Clean up this mess on the floor!" 

Crowley: "It's holy water! Do you want me to MELT???"

...

Me: "Crowley, are you threatening your plants AGAIN???"

Crowley: "They're not growing right!"

...

Me: "Crowley, I'm your mother. Don't be disrespectful and hiss at me with your snake tongue."

Crowley: _glares with glowing eyes and flicks out a hint of his tongue_

...

Me: “Crowley, why do you insist on wearing sunglasses indoors all the time? I _know_ what your eyes look like. There's no need to hide them.”

Crowley: “Come on mom, just let me have my emo fashion statement!”

...

Me: “Crowley, why don’t you invite your angel friend over sometime? He seems like a nice fellow and I would really like to meet him!” 

Crowley: “It’s not COOL to meet your friends’ parents, mommmm.”

...

Me: “Crowley, are you making out with girls in your car when you disappear for hours at a time?” 

Crowley: “Ewww mom, nooo. I just like to drive FAST and listen to Queen.”

...

Me: “Crowley, can’t you do something nicer with your hair? It’s looking pretty ratty.” 

Crowley: “Long messy hair was considered cool in Mesopotamia! I was there!”

...

Crowley _(hugs me)_ : “Sorry I’m so weird sometimes, mom.” 

Me: “It’s okay, I love you anyway.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back by popular demand! More momfic. :)

Me: “Crowley, do you want some lunch? You haven’t eaten in days.” 

Crowley: “I’m a  _ demon _ , mom - I don’t need to eat!”

...

Me: “Crowley, I hate to ask, but do you know anything about the mice that went missing from the pet store?” 

Crowley: “I have a SNAKE persona, mommm! I needed to know what they tasted like!!!”

...

Me: “Crowley, is that a tattoo on your FACE?!” 

Crowley: “It’s just a snake, mommm. I still look way nicer than all the other demons I know. It’s not like I’m wearing a lizard or a fly for a hat, like  _ some  _ people I could name.”

...

Me: “Crowley, did you just hit that bicycle with your car?!” 

Crowley: “Of course not! The bicycle hit ME!” 

Me: “Even if that were possible, you were still speeding!” 

Crowley: “Everyone walking across the road knows the risks they’re taking!”

...

Me: “Crowley, why are you taking so many pictures of yourself lately?” 

Crowley: “I have to show off my personal style on Instagram!”

Me: “Crowley, I followed you on Instagram!” 

Crowley: “Ugh mom, WHY?” 

Me: "Why are you tagging @AZFell in all these pictures of you?” 

Crowley _(a single tear about to fall from one eye)_ : “Because he’s in my  _ heart _ . And I wish he would notice me.”

...

Me: “Crowley, can you please stop turning into a giant snake to scare the neighbors?”

...

Me: “Crowley, why are you moping about like this?” 

Crowley: “I left a plant on someone’s desk at school, and he really liked it, but I forgot to leave a note saying it was from me!”

...

Me: “Crowley, what I have I told you? You’re not allowed to come to breakfast in snake form!” 

Crowley _(dejectedly transforming back into human form)_ : “Ugh, I hate this! Why can’t I be a snake all the time?”

...

Crowley: “Hey mom, I know I've been a mess lately. But I grew some flowers just for you!” Me _(hugging him)_ : “That’s so sweet of you! Thank you!”


End file.
